Putting on my helmet...

This is not intended to be inflamatory - just give another perspective. I met and fell in love with a man with whom I was working on an extended project.

I did not know he was married when we began dating, but found out about a month into it. We spent 20 out of 24 hours together. I never asked about his wife and he did not volunteer. He does have kids - 3.

When the project ended, I planned that the affair would too. It did not.

Long story short, we are together, married, two kids live with us and we have our own business. We are like two teenagers and couldn't be happier.

Will he cheat on me? Will I cheat on him? Will he leave me? Will I leave him? Were the kids better off living with two unhappy people (he and his former wife) or with us?

WHO THE HELL KNOWS.

I only know that I am not the same person in every relationship or even from year to year. I continually grow and evolve and believe everyone else does too. To generalize robs you of possibility. I would like to think that if I were in a relationship, I would tell the person I was with that I wanted to end it if I met someone I planned to spend time with, but I am not 100% sure I would because I have not been in that situation. I know many men who are with 2nd and 3rd wives as well as women with several rounds of husband (this is my first, btw) - over 50% of marriages end in divorce so it is safe to say that men leave their wives all the time and vice versa.

People leave each other all the time, it sucks, but I really wonder if you can stay together after this type of betrayal. If it were me, I could never touch him again.

My 2 cents.