need your prayers and advise!

I have an estranged relationship with my mother. She abusives me emotionally and seems to thrive off of it. I don't know what to do for it has made me mentally ill. Every arguement seems to be volatal, and I always cave in because I know she would fight me and has mentioned the woulds Kill me when she loses control. I live with her now and can not seem to make anything fit around me. Everything I touch turns into ruins. I can not do or say anything in the outside world because every face reminds me of her, cold and calculating. I cant seem to pick myself up. I don't know what to do because my job is suffering. I am about to lose my job because of my work habbits and this is one of those things she would love to see happen. Then she would have total control. I have watched her reck my every escape. I can not turn to family memeber because s he has bad mouthed me or told them to not be bothered with me. I was going to move in and take over payments at my brothers house, since he now lives a miles away. She went out of her way to stop this action and move someone else in the home. This means I am still stuck living here. Everyday I grow ill mentally and I don't know what to do. She seems to love to see this pain or confusion on my face but when I start to fight back she shuts me down, loses control and threatens to fight or kill.

There is another thing. Everytime she sees me save money she tries to make an excuse to get at it or borrow. She tries to stop me from living ! Please someone tell me what I should be doing here.

Implode!

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