You are right Take Care, hindsights that precious evil thing! but we do have to learn, people on this forum told me some of the same things I am telling the OP, and I ignored it, well didnt ignore, but had to pay the bills, the rent, and thought I could keep going - didn't end well :)
If you can go through hell and make it back, then life will become so much more precious, and thats an experience, no matter how harrowing that not everyone will experience. So we should in some way feel privilidged, but i just feel anger! One day ill smile and say thankyou, and i think when you touch that level of acceptance, is the day the journey will be on the other side and things will be much brighter.