I have had a lot of experience with Depression with members of my family including my father and son. It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of the typical signs of depression. I remember that you live in Cleveland. You have one of the top medical facilities in the country in your city. The Dr.'s at the Cleveland Clinic just saved my father's life. I wish I had a facility like that close to me, I would have been there in a minute. Please think about talking to someone like this as if you get some help for this, your whole outlook will change. You will find something to look forward to.
I wish you the best and hope that you can find the peace and happiness that you so much deserve !!