Jackie, Your post broke my heart. I'm SO sorry you feel like you have no one. I KNOW it's hard when it's not in person, but YOU HAVE US! Even though we're all at different stations of pain/recovery/healing, we have ALL been through the same thing. Please know that we love you and you can ALWAYS talk to us. Please don't give up hope. The little bit better that you feel is something. Cling to that hope. I'm going to pray for hope and comfort for you right now...for you...for your relationship with your husband and for a brighter day for you. I don't know if you're a person of faith or not, but the Bible says to cast your cares upon (JESUS) because He cares for you. I know it's easy to think if He cared for me, this wouldn't be happening. I posted this before. I don't know if you've ever heard this song. Please listen to it. It's been such a blessing to me. The girl that wrote it and sings it wrote it about a personal trial she went through. Her husband had brain cancer. Here it is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mmgV6mPvb0