I know your mind is playing tricks on you, and you can't think straight. That's one of the nasty things Candida can do to you. Don't let Candida take your mind from you. You have to FIGHT!
You can get better! Just the fact that you found this forum is in itself a blessing from God. This forum has been one of the main reasons how I got myself better, and I was at death's doorstep. Don't ever give up. FIGHT!