Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. All I can say is we are not hypochondriacs, this is a real disease. I know how hard this is. I have been thru it. I thought my life would be better if it was over too. But things have a way of righting themselves. You are being tested. And we all our tested from time to time. We must be strong. We everything seems like it is as bad as it can get , then they turn around and life can be great. There is a lesson in this trip for each of us. Maybe you need to reflect in and see what is going on. Maybe you seek or feel you need approval from others. Maybe you are insecure. Believe me this illness is there to teach us. Teach how to take care of ourselves, physically and mentally. If you are really that sick that you feel you need antipschotics or antidepressants , then take them until you can get back on your feet. It does not have to be permanant. But do not let anyone talk you into anything if you know it is not right. you know what is right for you in your heart. Maybe taking some time off is a good thing. It happened to me./ I had to leave my job and I was soooo upset. I thought it wqas the end of the world. But when a door is shut a window opened and my life has taken some incredible turns ...for the better. So , do not throw in the towel. You are strong enough to do this. You might have to do it without family and friends , but you have us on the board to guide you through. Keep the faith.