Good Post Ruth!

This has always been interesting to me too. I also had very moral parents, still married after 55 years. They bitch at each other a lot more, but whatever they've developed all those years, respect and courtesy, is still there.

Respect for the other person is a biggee as far as I'm concerned. Lack of respect will kill any relationship dead away. But what about those that cheat, even when they do still respect their spouse? It would have to be their own lack of respect for themselves, I think.

I've been married twice. I have cheated zero times. I have thought about cheating zero times. Before I was married, I dallied a bit. I had an affair with a guy, who had a girlfriend, and I was with my future husband. I wasn't especially enamored with this man, and for the life of me cannot figure out why we did this. On my part the whole thing felt "icky". It was not exciting at all after the first time. I didn't want to leave my boyfriend for him, and he felt the same. ICKY I tell you.

My first husband left me for the woman he was cheating with. I believe that the man actually cheated on me the entire 10 years we were together.

My second and present husband and I dated for 1-1/2 years. We never made a formal commitment to each other, and I did date others. We just never discussed what happens when we are not together. Then one day he said he wanted to date someone else. Not dump me, but see us both. I was hurt! It was the first time I thought I really wanted a commitment. I told him no, it's me only or nothing. So we broke up. I suffered for the two months, really kicked myself around. When he came back, I made damn sure that man would never walk away from me again!! We've been together for 25 years now. Neither of us have cheated. I know this for a fact because the man cannot lie at all, I can tell immediately even if he's hedging

Cheating is very dirty business. I'm not a prude, but I say if you are making a commitment, and you respect your spouse, and respect yourself, you don't do this kind of thing. It just can hurt too many people. It does not turn out well. A no win situation. And if you feel the strong desire to do so, then there is a lot more to look at than just sex. In the end, it's never about the sex. If you want to get off, there are ways to do it all by yourself.

I don't know what would even tempt either my husband or myself to cheat. I will never say never, because life does have it's crazy twists and turns. But I do remember that dalliance so long ago in College....and when I say icky, I mean it.

Now, I say all of this, but I have told my husband that if Brad Pitt and John Corbett and Johnny Depp knocked on my door and wanted an orgy, I would just have to shrug and tell my husband that it was time for him to go....He said he'd do the same for Angelina Jolie (so bring her over Brad!) or Sophia Loren (yes, he'd even do her as a grandmother). Since this is not going to be happening anytime soon, then I'd say we are good to go for the next 25.

And by the way, not once would I feel like being a Brad, John and Johnny sandwich would never, EVER feel icky. I would think that it would be HIGHLY desirable. Of course not only would they lavish love and sex on me, but all their fortunes also....yep.

Molly


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