of course we have to share. That's what we are here for. On this earth. We are here to share each other's experience. It's all about sharing. Don't you know that?

Can you really not get your head around the fact that we are here on this earth for the sole purpose of experiencing stuff that we may not like but that happens to 'others' and that we have to get our heads around it? For instance - just supposing you had a son who you loved who you gave birth to, who was your baby, your darling, you would lay your life down for him.

How would you feel about people wanting to string him up on the highest tree to crucify him?

Wouldn't you want others to get involved and to help him? Just suppose they wanted to string him up on the highest tree because he was 'black'? Just suppose they wanted to string him up because he was hurting and spreading his hurt?

Hey Jimsgirl, just wanted to comment on your idea of me initially feeling sorry for him... actually for the first six months I knew G he was a total dreamboat, I mean charming, kind, fascinating, sensitive: you name it. There was nada to feel sorry about. Then, presto, things started to change (funny, in retrospect I think it happened just after we got married...and yes, if you calculated right we did get married 6 months after meeting eachother, a real Brittney Spears type decision LOL -I mean, I can laugh right?)... but yes, that is an issue. Just as many times as I have wished I were anywhere else but here with low-grade anxiety waiting for him to come home and some scene to erupt, I have gone the line of "no-ones perfect, who am I to judge and not try to understand..." The latter line of thinking is a large part of why I am where I am today. There is always that dilemma, and inclination towards empathy, especially if you are trained to be empathetic and sweet per society's concept of woman, read grown-up version of good girl. Moreover, if, like myself you come from a particularly unhealthy family environment, one becomes very prone to GUILT. Deep down inside, maybe not even consciously, you feel like you deserve it, or deserve no better anyway, and it is somehow your fault, hence you try to actually adjust to/appease his violent self. Anywayz, as a wise person said 'you have to help yourself before you can help anyone else' and I do think that is true.. hence I am planning my escape, after being blessed with an, actually several, affirmative wake-up calls to get me going and get in touch with reality again.... Best wishes. "And then there was light"

I completely understand the loss of social skills! I was so cut off from people that even my family members believed me to be insane when I finally left! You've made friends here, at Curezone. Even if we can't sit down over coffee and offer you supportive hugs and cry with you and nod our heads while you vent, we are still here for you whenever you need us.

You'll find another career position - honest. Perhaps, you'll find a position doing something that you've always wanted to do but never thought it was practical enough. Who knows? This is all a wide-open gamble, but the odds are in YOUR favor, not the House's! Once you're out, whatever happens will happen according to a Grand Design - I don't know how it is, but when things seem to be the darkest and most terrifying, something always lets a crack of light into my room and I'm led to where I need to be. Sometimes, it's not where I WANT to be, I can tell you that! But, it all works out in synch with what I need, not what I want.

God bless you and email if you feel the need!

so true...

Probably the best example ever (from wikipedia):

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Johann "Jack" Unterweger (born 1951 in Judenburg, Styria, Austria, died 29 June 1994 in Graz, Austria) was a serial killer who murdered prostitutes in several countries. Born to a Viennese prostitute and an unknown American soldier, he grew up in poverty with his abusive, alcoholic grandfather in a one-room cabin.

He was in and out of prison several times during his youth for assaulting local prostitutes. He murdered 18-year-old German Margaret Schäfer in 1974 by strangling her with her own bra.

He was sentenced to life in prison and used that time to study. He became an author of short stories, poems, plays, and an autobiography, "Fegefeuer – eine Reise ins Zuchthaus" which was a success with critics and the public. He was released after only 14 years of his life term, thought to be a successful "resocialized" prisoner. Law enforcement later found, however, that he had killed six prostitutes in Austria in the first year after his release.

In 1991, he was hired by an Austrian magazine to write about crime in Los Angeles, California, writing articles about prostitution and riding around town with the local police. During his time in Los Angeles, three prostitutes Shannon Exley, Irene Rodriguez, and Sherri Ann Long were beaten, sexually assaulted with tree branches, and finally strangled with their own brassieres.

Back in Austria, law enforcement had enough evidence for his arrest, but he was gone by the time they entered his home. After law enforcement chased him through Europe, Canada and the United States of America, he was finally arrested by the FBI in Miami, Florida on February 27, 1992. While a fugitive, he had time to call Austrian media to try to convince them of his innocence.

Back in Austria, he was charged with eleven homicides, one of which occurred in Prague, Czech Republic, during the time Unterweger was visiting and was identical to the murders of the other prostitutes. The jury found him guilty of nine murders because no cause of death could be determined for two of them, as nothing was found of them but bones. On June 29, 1994 he was sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole. That night, he took his own life by hanging himself with a rope made from shoelaces and a track suit cord, using an identical knot to those used on the murdered prostitutes. Because he died before he could appeal the verdict, it was never legally valid. Thus, according to Austrian law, Unterweger is to be regarded as innocent. Due to this legal technicality, Unterweger's case was carefully considered during creation of newer laws, which were to be enforced by the European Union.

The social history of Jack Unterweger is still researched by American academia and law enforcement, because of Johann's personal fixation with a historical figure that is still only known as "Jack the Ripper" (who remains an unknown serial killer from the 19th century). With FBI evidence against Johann Unterweger very closely reflecting the known evidence of Jack the Ripper, along with the thrifty Austrian-to-American first name translation for investigators, Johann earned the nickname of "Jack".

The Austrian musician Falco composed the song "Jeanny", which represented the life of Jack Unterweger and caused a scandal.

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I actually saw a documentary about this Unterweger guy, and what his biography doesn't mention is that he was the very person interviewed about those local murders in Austria! I saw his TV interviews, his intelligent diatribe, expert opinion (as a reformed murderer)... it was disgusting to watch this guy take most of the world for a ride...
But it was a great example how we all are tempted to believe someone's bull.... just because they are famous writers of whatever. And an ever better example of how no matter how much psychotherapy one goes through (he did have a therapist while in jail), it is not a guarantee of anything.