thank you for your support hun. thats very sweet of you. we have all made mistakes in our lives. i asked my mother in law the other day, how she handles all thats put upon her, which is a lot, she is 75. she said, i have 2 words,( let go) i said, ok, i have been told that before, but this time i am really trying it. she is a wonderful christain woman who puts up with so much crap. i feel so bad for her. but, i am trying now to let go!!!!! we all deserve a second chance, and god is very forgiving. im praying hard for you to have a baby, it will happen. you will be very good parents, let me know when you get pregnant. i can see a beautiful baby in your lives, for some reason, i am seeing a girl!!! keep on trying. love each other, and there will be a baby. god bless you both, cloe

Hi, I'm new on here and just read this post. Thanks for the encouragement...It means a lot to know there are people like you who have gone through so much and are able to overcome the tragedy and go on to help others. My daughter is now homeschooled after being molested by her brother. She is doing better now but there has been a lot of tension in our family because after I reported the abuse to the authorities, my son now has a felony conviction and will be on the sex offender registry for life. There has been a lot of pushback from the family since his conviction but I had to report it so that my daughter and my son could receive help. Now they say I have ruined my son's life....but what about my daughter and all the other girls who are sexually abused? So much suffering from having their innocence robbed at the hands of someone who should be protecting them.

i think the reason why you did that your nephew or cousin is because it was done to you. you wouldnt have done it if it didnt happen to you.

you should listen to this radio program. some lady went through the same thing you have went through. its not that uncommon. but you should need to learn how to Foregive your uncle. you might like what h has to say about the subject. take care and i wish you well. forgive that uncle

Hi #23435. I can relate to your situation. And I hope I can help you by sharing my past. I also was sexually violated by an uncle when I was around 5 years old. And like you I also couldn't remember which uncle it was. I just have it boiled down to two. Oh well. The point is, I believe when children are violated at such an early age it actually engages a sexual curiosity and arousal which should have not been awakened.
The rest of my story is this, I also when I was 12 years of age touched and tried to stimulate my cousins private parts. I felt shame about this as well and thankfully I didn't do anything more; however I know that sexually I was confused. I didn't respect myself as I matured in life and was taken advantage of many times. I even thought I was gay for a while because of confusion. I am also glad I didn't act on that one. I have sinced married and have a great family. I however have taken responsibility and asked forgiveness also. What I find is that the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. But the truth is that if God (who is perfect in love) forgives us, why shouldn't we forgive ourselves? Forgiveness is a choice and of course we know that if the enemy can keep us in unforgiveness (even towards ourselves) then he has a hook in us to bring torment.

I would suggest that you forgive yourself no matter how many times you have to. Also a good confession of what the word of God says about who you are is a good way to positively position you for renewing your mind with the truth. Our sins shouldn't separate us from God, but drive us into His loving arms. He isn't a religious fanatic,( unlike some people would have you think) he really is the most loving, upbeat fun and relational God there is. He doesn't get bummed. Most of all if you pour out this matter to Him and ask him to take away your anger, unforgiveness and pain, he will. But you have to do this for yourself. Just being real with God like you would any person is the best way to get to know him and learn to hear his heart towards you. I hope this helps. He has forgiven you. There is much ahead for you to do. I will pray for you. Because I understand the torment that this type of situation can bring. The other thing I understand is that this is just how pornography, child molestation, incest gets started or keeps getting passed on .. From wounded people wounding others. And not repenting but getting caught in this addictive behavior. And becoming consumed by it, but again this is also bondage. And we have deliverance from all bondages through Jesus suffering and death in exchange for our life and freedom.

One other thing I would like to mention, Theophostic prayer is quite effective in removing the pain and lies from trauma events in our past. Sometimes when we are stuck we need some help. I have been going for almost a year every other 2nd or 3 rd week. My husband has said he has seen more change in me this last year than he has from all the previous years he has known me.

So don't be afraid to check out www.theophostic.com and find out who you could go to in your area. Mine was free.

I thought this was a divine appointment as I don't usually read someone's testimony that sounds exactly like mine. Please be encouraged you have a destiny to go for. Please read what the bible has to say about you. You are a conquerer,an overcomer, on top and not on the bottom and a lover of God! Blessings are coming your way!! Remember we all fall from time to time, but get up receive your forgiveness and continue on. He has sought you out!

Hi,
I think you are a very brave person and you are well on your way to recovery just by admitting and facing what is deeply bothering you. I don't feel there is anything to be ashamed of because this is a fact of everyday life. So many are victims of abuse and I believe it does affect your future. You need to forgive your abuser as well as yourself. Not verbally but in your own heart. God has already forgiven both of you and it now relies on you forgiving yourself. It will always be there in your past but you can choose to let it go each time it tries to control you.

Love and God bless you!

I hope and pray that in time you will forgive yourself for this. As you say, you were only 12 yr old. Many abuse victims act out their frustrations but do not go on to become an abuser. I hope you will not continue to beat yourself up over the past. What matters the most now is who you are now and what you do with the rest of your future.

I minister in prisons and jail to inmates, some of whom have been sexually abused. One of the best Christian resources is the ministry of Joyce Meyer, who was herself abused by her father and other relatives. She writes about this in her book From Ashes to Beauty.

You can contact her on her website at www.joycemeyer.org. You can get a schedule of her conferences. She also has a tape of her story of abuse.

Following Biblical principles will bring healing to your life.

The thief (Satan) comes only to kill, steal and destroy but I have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly. John 10:10 ( a quote from Jesus)

Don't let the deeds of those influenced by Satan to destroy your life.

Joyce's teachings will help you to learn to forgive yourself, and to love yourself again, to forgive the abuser and to start life anew.

Marie Flowers

You are not a bad person. you were abused when children get abused some times it becomes normal. don't beat yourself up over this.
I know it is hard to deal with but all you were doing when your were a child was what you new.

I was abused from under 5 years old until I was 17.
I know the pain the hell we live, your not alone.
God loves you. I think it is ourselves that need to forgive.
God has already. he loves us. we are his presious children.
we just have to forgive us even though there is nothing to forgive.

I think you sharing this is healing.

I know it is not easy to talk about.
you help others by sharing and help yourself.
feel free to email me any time.
my story about my childhood is on this website under here.

http://www.angelfire.com/me5/angellady95/angelladypg2.html

Feel free to visit and my email is on the website.

I wish you peace and joy in your life.
there is a life for us after living the hell we have.
we are not alone.
hang in there and know your a special person.

Angellady

http://www.angelfire.com/me5/angellady95/angelladypg2.html