I have felt that way.many times. but then after falling asleep in despair I wake up the next day and gather evry bit of strength necessary to keep fighting to save my own life. your inner strength will surprise you. just don't try to take on the whole thing at once, but rther day by day. I have contemplated suicide too. or more realistically thought about it when it was te only thing that brought me relief from the insane suffering of having systemic worms/ parasites all throughout body and brain poisoning me,, and dealing w/ doctors who scrutinize, family members who project psychological issues on to you etc. I do think that it would make it worse to take ones own life. not a good way to leave and what follows who know. just wanting to give you more reason to fight no matter what...
coastanoan