Thank goodness! -- long post, sorry!

Yay! My thanks goes out to members for suggesting this forum and to the Webmaster for getting this up!

I need to quit smoking worse than anything. Seven years ago, I went without smoking for about 18 months during my pregnancy and breastfeeding. They tasted awful and made me sick! I started up after an emotional crisis. I tried again last year, was off for 3 months, and again, an emotional upset put me right back.

Mentally, it makes *no* sense whatsoever to smoke. We all know the stats (or should by now). I have the biggest problem with my emotional connections to cigarettes and the act of quitting:

1.) I feel like I work so hard that I *deserve* this treat, this guilty pleasure. Not unlike a dieter with that piece of chocolate cake.

2.) I feel comforted by them. Just knowing that I have a pack with me makes me feel secure. I freak out completely if I run out...you'd think the world was coming to an end until I get that next pack.

3.) I feel sexier and more powerful with one in my hand. This is the profound effect of advertising and watching too many old movies where the *good* guys/girls smoke.

4.) The feeling of camaraderie with fellow smokers huddled around the ashtray outside buildings.

4.) I actually get scared to quit. I mean really frightened. I'm so afraid I won't be able to finish my dissertation without them! I'm petrified that I will gain weight (a major issue for me).

So, here I am...getting colonics, changing my diet, exercising every day, working up toward a liver cleanse and maybe a fast... and I *still* light up. I'm such an idiot!!

If you follow Tony Robbins verbiage, I don't have enough "leverage" on myself to quit. Which makes no sense, because I have held an emphysemic lung in my hands (from a cadaver in college), and watched my grandmother suffer having 1/2 her lung removed due to cancer. The stats are overwhelming, plus I have emotional personal experiences that should be that leverage.

Where's it at? What am I missing? I would love to hear stories from people who have quit about the emotional aspects. How did you get leverage on yourself? Was it a single event/moment or a build up of little things? How did you get to the point where cigarettes are gross, not a dear friend? Physical aspects, too...like Zyban gave me hives, but are there supplements that can help reduce cravings?

I would also like to find other members who are planning to quit, or are in the process. Maybe a support group! Anyone else doing detox measures for health, but still smoking?

sorry so long!
had a lot to say...
nightchild




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