Re: nde

Love is the answer for sure but I can't make it work this lifetime. I know many other people that can't make it work either.

The lifetime I had planned for this lifetime has been interupted for almost 40 years now. I knew what I was going to do, how I was going to do it, put myself in the proper circumstances to accomplish it, was with who I needed to be with to accomplish it, and IT DIDN'T WORK OUT. It didn't happen.

Love may be the answer but the practical realities of life don't allow it to manifest. Seems the government got in the way and ruined my destiny.

War was my near death experience. You come out of a war and you KNOW love is the answer - period... You can see clearly who you are and why you are here and who you're "supposed" to be with to accomplish the life destiny you had planned. But it doesn't work. It's too late, the practicalities of life altered the destiny of the players you needed to be with to accomplish the mission.

You're left with the rather huge question: "Now, what am I supposed to do???" I can't answer that, I honestly don't know what I'm "supposed" to be doing. I'm lost.

I do my job which is very rewarding, but I have no love in my life. No one for me to love and no one to love me. Sure we met when we were "supposed" to meet, we planned it that way, but it didn't work out. Too many variables, her mother, college, the government, war. I haven't seen her in close to 30 years now.

Her life is empty and my life is empty. We're both successful at what we do but neither one of us has genuine love in our lives. That just doesn't seem "right".

We're 400 miles apart and both are in situations we can't extricate ourselves from without causing serious problems for those around us. And of course there's always the financial end of it (practical realities).

So, love is indeed the answer as both war and the NDE teach you but it doesn't work.

The only conclusion I can come up with is that I'm an insignificant clog in the wheel of life and unimportant to God himself. Allthough I'm good at spreading the love around I'm not elivated enough to be blessd with it personally.

Matter of fact I view it as a cruel trick. To discover what love is early in life, get it confirmed by being in a war and then unable to have it again the rest of my life. That's just mean. I'm to the point now where I regret ever finding out about it. "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is pure unadulterated BS.

I don't know how young you were when you had this NDE, I was 21 in the war. Lets hope you can make your life go better then mine. Lets hope you can find genuine love in your life. I found it - lost it - and can't get it back.

Apparently I'm not elivated enough. Good luck...




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