Re: Should I stay or should I go? HELP ME!!!!!!!

Well you just spoke volumes. That was exactly what some women with Sociopathic boyfriends/husbands need to hear...that exact story. It's hard to pry a woman away from a Sociopath, but you just hope that something sticks...rings a bell, causes a warning light..you just hope. But you also know that when you are in the thick of it, you cannot hear warnings.

You were so right on about the feeling of being "special". That is so key to the whole process, and I've thought that but never actually put it into those words. Yes indeed, better than all the other women, the only one that will understand the man. The only one the man will allow to get close.

I know of so many that went from one abusive relationship to another. What happened to you was absolutely classic. I also was "classically" abused. I don't know what would have happened had I not met my present husband. I was not looking for a relationship at all. I had decided I didn't want a relationship for a good long while. But I was attracted to him, and he to I. I never thought it would last really. I tested and tested and tested him. Poor guy. I got in his face to see if he would ever hit me. I brought him to the edge so many times. It was only after I realized I was in love with him did the testing begin, and I didn't even know I was doing it. It's amazing I didn't lose him.

Last time I saw my ex, it was with my boyfriend (now husband) and the ex was with his new girlfriend. She was not in the least sexy, or interesting. All the things he used to tell me I was not (but I was damn it). He had the balls to come up to me at the party and say to me (This is the truth - regarding his new girlfriend) "Can you believe, her ex-husband used to severly abuse her?" OMG, my mouth just fell open. My boyfriend was shocked too. We were so young, it was hard to resolve all of that. I wanted to go up to that woman and scream "run, run for your life", but part of me was still afraid of him, and the other part convinced myself that she may be better than I. I have always had a twinge when I think about that moment, but it's like my husband said, you can't follow him around for the rest of his life warning women away from him. Also I was high on Ecstasy and not too coherent, one of the lovely residuals from that relationship.

So the best I can do now is come here to CZ and speak out as much as I can. It's hard because you are not privvy to the actual relationships these people have, but you can get a sense. There is a reason people come here and ask these questions. I believe there is real fear, and there is a deep sense of injustice, but they can't really see it yet.

That was a really, really good post. I completely understood the whole thing you were dealing with.

Molly

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