Re: Should I stay or should I go? HELP ME!!!!!!!

Let me be brief. You should have left last year.

Rock star, schlock star. And he gave it all up for you, right.

Well, it sounds to me like he's set you up to be his excuse for not making it. YOU are nothing but his Excuse. Stop enabling his dysfunction.

This jerk doesn't love you- He's f-----g around, my Dear, and you're living with your heart on your sleeve and egg on your face, and he's liking it like that.

What, are you kidding? You love him so much? Much better to place your love where it's not being laughed at, don't you think?

I'll bet these things are true. Look carefully into your mind's eye and see what it is you're really in love with:

1. You love the man you wish he was. Isn't that true? Except the problem is, the man you wish he was, is not the man he is, nor does he want to be. 

2. You love the man you think he's capable of being. Yes, if only he wanted to be. Except, he isn't that man you know he is capable of being. Why isn't he? Because he doesn't want to be. He can't be bothered. If you make it a contest out of it by hanging on, it will become his prime directive to prove you wrong.

3. You think he's so_______ (Fill in the blank). Oh No, he's not. He's a two-bit lowlife con. But he loves the fact that you're thinking that about him, and if he can get anybody else to believe it too, he will.

4. You think that if only you could or would  ______(Fill in the blank), he'd wake up and become all the above, and then the relationship will become all you know it could be. No he won't, but he likes you believing that 'if only' stuff, because it keeps him from having to do any work on it. That way, whatever he is doing wrong is all your responsibility, not his.

Are you getting my point?

5. In your mind, you are thinking all these idealistic things of him. You wish he were the man you see in your mind's eye, you wish he were attempting to be the man you know he could be, you wish he would wake up, but he isn't doing any of those things. I repeat, he can't be bothered.

So the man whom you truly love, the man who is so______(Fill in that blank), the awake and aware man who is actually able to love you in return and give of himself into a relationship with you, and whose pleasure it is to do that, the man who is actively engaged in being the best man he can be in order to love you better, is someone else other than the man you're with.

As long as you stay tied up with the loser, you are unavailable to the man you are truly in love with, and who will love you the same way in return.

Because the loser you're with isn't doing any of those things.

So just walk away.

Stay well,

Ladylove :)