My ACNE story

I truly believe if i didnt have Acne i would be in a much happier place right now in my life. Acne has marked the last 6 years of my life like nothing else. It has caused my more mental illness. Im currently diagnosed with OCD, depression, mood disorder, and anxiety disorders.

I am obsessed with acne. I isolate myself from friends. Have never had a girlfriend or had sex because of Acne as well. And im 23

Drug and alcohol use increased too.

Last fall my acne looked better than ever but i f**ked it up by using Vitamin E to clear up red marks and scars. It started a breakout cycle which has not stopped. When i go out with friends i have to medicate myself with alcohol or drugs cause im just not happy in my own skin.

Im so perfectionistic its crazy. I truly know that if i never got acne i would be done with college by now and be working and have a girlfriend. I have missed so many opportunities in life because of acne too.

Mentally im different and i dont think it will ever change. But i know that if my acne and scars suddenly disappeared i would want a nose job or something vane like that.

Accutane for me worked to get rid of the real bad cystic severe acne but it f**ked up my mind and body. I know that it effects me even today 5 years later.

I have tried to kill myself twice, been put in a mental hospital twice, and have been through drug rehab twice.

I feel so lonely but not good enough for other people sometimes.

Right now my acne is mild to moderate but once the breakouts stop the redness and scars bother me incrediblely.

I always look to the future when i think i can afford surgery to make my face look better.

I just hope someday i can love myself and be happy with who i am.

Ed