You claim to be religious so my response will be related to how your relationship with God may help you cope with your situation. You are confused because you say can just look and no harm is done. Jesus warns that you have commited adultery if you look at a women with lust Matthew 5:28. The bible teaches that the wages of sin any sin is death seperation from God. p 0 r nagraphy is not ok. It is addictive and as with all addictions soon it takes more and more to satisfy the craving. Evidently this is what happened with your wife. The bible says that you are the spiritual leader of your family. You let your guard down and now you are reaping what you have sown. Thank Jesus that he is a merciful Saviour and he offers of the means of grace so we may repent and turn towards Him. If you do not repent expect to be chastised as Jesus loves you and will allow consequences to steer you back to Him. I suggest that you join a bible teaching church and get back on the straight and narrow.