Relationship advice with Trust

I would love some feedback on a situation so I can understand and find out what to do about it.

I'm married and our relationship really seemed to be happy. In the past, we had situations arise where my husband was caught talking 'inappropriately' online to other women. It really bothered me, I think mostly because I thought it could progress to an affair possibly. In the 8 years we have been together, I've confronted him 3 times about this behaviour. Of course he has apologized and said it was really stupid, that he loves me and won't ever do it again.

Just last week I was suspicious of him coming to bed late and downloaded software on his computer to see what he does online. I discovered that he frequents chat rooms but also has a cam and spank the monkeys online while viewing other women's cams. He has been so secretive and cleans out the history on his browser so I would never know. He keeps his cam in a box somewhere in his office and even though I know it's there, I can't even find it.

I confronted him. I told him he has to keep my software on his computer so he will be accountable to me about what he does. He agreed. Since this is the 4th time I've confronted him about this (and it seems to be getting worse each time), I've asked him to be accountable to his parents so we can talk about this together. I feel I need for him to confess what he's done so we can move forward. He said he just can't do that as it would make the relationship between him and his parents awkward. I don't want to push the issue and feel maybe I'm asking too much but I want some accountability as it KEEPS happening.

My problem is I can't seem to figure out how I can ever trust him again. I love him and really want to work it out but I feel like he needs to make this up to me somehow. I believe that if this is what he wants to do, he will find a way - be it getting a laptop I don't know about or hooking up a seperate computer to his monitor that isn't being monitored.

Any advice would be helpful. Thank you. Tweet