Your OK I don't have love for mine

I don't feel love for my abortion, don't remember ever feeling a loss until my first born died. I'd had a child before my abortion.
Today, as I learned about grief with parents of murdered children and my associated emotions and physical pain, I believe grief is very biological, very physical. When my living son was about 1 year old, I know my body knew there should be not one other child but two. Today I should be the mother of 4 children not 2. It's innate, built into us. The LA riots rocked my emotions and brought all this to light. Anytime there is a world tradgedy I'm reminded of my losses and my body aches.
I grieve all the what if's at times. I miss the dream the m/c destroyed of a blonde girl named Hannah. No name has come for this pregnancy yet. But the m/c was Hannah from the day of conception.
I was raised Catholic and stand by my decision at the time was the best decision. Like you, you made a sane, rational decision at that time. This man would still be a part of your life if you had his child.
Repentant, I don't think I've done it on the level a fundamental would believe was appropriate. I have prayed for forgiveness and I know my God knows I am sorry and I learned and I'm forgiven.
By Jesus' stripes I am healed! I get reminders and they're okay today, I embrace them and move through the issue and I learn and grow from every one I have.
God Bless you and your family, always.C Tweet