I want to die

I was diagnosed with herpes a year ago. I was in the emergency room with the doctor who told me I had herpes after trying to figure out what was wrong with me. When I looked at my then boyfriend who I was in love with, his first reply was that "I've had herpes for eight years". I just remember my heart falling and although it's been a year now I still want to die. I asked him when we first started dating if he had any STD's and he said no. What a idiot I am for beleiving him, I just thought were both adults why do we need to lie. I loved him and now I hate him. Who is going to love me now; with each outbreak I feel nasty and dirty. Since all of this has happened I've lost my job, apartment and sanity. I was hospitalize eight times in the past year for major Depression and suidcide attempts. I was arrested for assault and battery of a police officer because they wanted me to go to the hospital and I fought back. Now that I'm homeless in the sence that I've lost my own apartment, jobless and a convicted misdemor person I just still want to die. I've never been arrested in my entire life nor have I ever hurt anyone intentionally but bad luck follows me. My only friend now is lonelyness and hate. I just want the pain to end and the only way I think it will is with death. WHO WILL WANT ME NOW. Tweet