hi- perhaps this is too simple of a question, but have you ever gone for professional help? i have been struggling with anorexia and bulemia for about 10 years now, and have gone for help several times- how long have you had your disorder? how long have you been married? the whole issue with food is control- or lack thereof. it's great that you are interested in raw food, but our illness will have us become obsessed over anything that we can micromanage and control- obsessively- right now, you need to get your body out of the starvation mode- focusing on raw food comes later- keeping you alive comes NOW. i am just getting out of a horrific relationship with a man who claimed he loved me, and i would have rather have been beaten and raped everyday than go through the emotional and mental abuse that he put me through- that in itself was a prison- i can relate to your hell. respond to my questions of you feel like it- Johns Hopkins Hospital is phenomenal for eating disorders. i don't know where you live, but people come in from all over the world. i personally knew one girl from jamaica and one from japan. let me know how you are? i hope to hear from you.