Re: Pick me, Pick me!! I wanna be your friend!!!

Thank you so much for you reply. It is very helpful and heartfelt.

I am actually a raw foodist, and have been for a few years now. It has helped me a lot, because it has made me a lot healthier and I have learned about food what I never knew before, but at the same time it has taken me a long time and a lot of trial/ error to find the right/ perfect diet for me, and it has possibly made me react to processed foods more extremely. My body really hates processed foods now, and I feel pain (chest pains, discomfort, bloating, acid reflux, mood swings, clogged lymph nodes, headaches etc.) after eating bad foods, which happens every once in a while, although I am very strict most of the time and go months without cheating. Eating raw is not only a choice or a tool for me, it is really a necessity.
I can eat a lot of (organic) waterrich foods a day and keep my weight stable at 110 lbs without gaining weight, but I have to eat less or exercise hard to lose weight. A lot of raw foodists eat nuts and avocados, oils, dried fruits but i am a lot more restrictive as i easily gain weight from foods that contain too much fiber and not enough water. I could be called orthorexic I guess.
My husband mocks me and doesn't respect my more natural diet. He tells me I am obsessed with food being organic, and that I can only show him that my diet is the best diet by having my body be 'the best' (meaning no body fat). He has no clue about food or health. He tells me I eat too much but of course eating apples and cucumbers seems like a lot of food, but contains a lot of water and fiber. Any raw foodist knows that you simply have to eat more often on raw because fruits just pass through and the foods aren't as taxing or dense in calories. He has been angry with me for eating a 180 calorie amount of Celery stalks in one sitting for example. I also have trouble keeping my blood Sugar up sometimes so I try to eat every couple of hours instead of just 3 meals a day. I really never gained weight from raw food (except many avocados or nuts) but only from the few times I was so depressed that i wanted to stuff my face with processed, salty foods. I am not a regular binger/food abuser anymore but I have definately had periods in my life when I went from a long, increasingly skinny period to eating lots of food as my body's attempt to recover/ make up for the starvation. You know what happens to many anorexics when they do try to recover, they can have difficulty controlling their meal sizes at first (and this problem can definately be helped a lot by eating a raw food diet). If I would never be dehydrated, and never eat processed foods or salt, i don't think i could gain any weight, but there are times when i am not prepared, or something happens that makes me eat processed crap. Sometimes even just to escape or to feel like a kid on her birthday again... with no worries. it is so easy to gain weight but it comes off slowly unless I starve myself and exercise a lot. I usually get skinny and then still feel fat, so I try to lose more weight but i always come to a point where I realise i will die, and then I make myself eat cause I don't want to die. I just go too far. I was at a doctor's office a few years ago for a female checkup and she was concerned when she saw me naked and weighed me, and asked me questions regarding my low weight, but i lied to her. I never go to the doctor, but i have tried to get healthy and I started reading about health and figured out that some problems I have had were heart palpitations, and very low blood Sugar that can lead to coma (I felt like I was slipping away and stopped breathing when falling asleep so it would wake me up all night long, really creepy and I could hardly move). This has happened several times. It has made me very scared. It would happen when my body fat was very low. Has anybody had these or other problems as well? please let me know!! I also get pounding head rushes.
Anyway, so I would eat because I don't want to die. I have given up on the idea that I can get all the nutrients i need from food, because that would mean that I would have to eat so much that I would gain weight. All i want is to be skinny again but to stay alive, and to be able to know what to do in case of emergency.

I think that raw food can definately help A LOT with ED sufferes, but it isn't easy with all the conflicting info out there (RAW can be done in many different ways, both healthy and unhealthy), and I still have ED problems even after being raw for so long. Raw food is the thing that helped me aim for health and recovery, but it has also brought many difficulties. It took me a couple of years to find out what works for me and what doesn't.
I still have an ED because I am not mentally/ emotionally healthy. It is just something that will always return.

I eat mainly some of the foods that are mentioned on this website:
http://www.freeacnebook.com/SampleDiet.htm
http://www.freeacnebook.com/contents.htm
http://www.waisays.com/

This woman is great and has taught me so much about how different foods work in the body and why we should not eat certain foods, and why many foods are really addictive. I don't go by everything she says but I at least know more specifically what kind of raw diet will work best for me. It isn't just for people who have acne.
I am much more restrictive than what is described in the diet but I do eat raw egg yolks and sometimes sashimi. Apart from that, I eat certain fruits. I focus on whatever has enough water in it.
I haven't been able to change my eating patterns completely to eating small meals every few hours (as she recommends), cause sometimes I just fast or certain foods stimulate my appetite too much. My taste and smell abilities have gotten so strong over the past few years, after quitting smoking and quitting processed foods and salt, that it sometimes makes it harder for me to eat less, because raw foods taste so good to me. Anything that doesn't contain enough water stimulates my appetite too much. She recommends to eat a lot of fat a day, and to eat fats right after fruits, but that doesn't work for me, and I also don't use sugar.

I'll write again later, bye for now!













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