I have been crying about your message all day. I am there with you. My breath is short...I can't say I have not been where you are today. The police reports, the restraining orders, the threats, and it never stopped her... I don't know your man but I know the pattern... Someone that wants to injure someone else has a serious sickness and is bent on their own self destruction. Only someone who has something left to lose can be coerced by a court order. I don't know if you have been isolated from a caring network of friends but if you can connect with them now, find a way out of there. Get that driver's license and go on a vacation. Do some volunteer... work on the mainland... Sign up for classes overseas... Don't be a victim...