Re: Honest opinions - Olfactory Reference Syndrome

Hi everyone,

i'm new here and i'm quite young, i needed someone to talk to about this.It all started over eight years ago when i joined a new college, i became convinced that i stank. Everybody i asked, people i spoke to said it was in my head, i visited therapists and they all told me it's in my head. I've been intimate with partners who have kissed and touched me in the most private of places,yet this frustrating phobia is affecting my communication. I see people covering their nose when i walk past, rubbing their noses, giggling, making a point not to sit next to me, or be associated with me. There have been many scenarios where i've been very popular, i try to be outgoing, but it's there it lurks in the back of my mindIt affects jobs, social situations, university, relationships, friendships even.Sometimes i dread sitting next to people, the more confident they are, the more paranoid i become.Sometimes i get nervous to speak. I dont believe people when they say it's not the case. I have loads of showers, pile on parfumes, mints. The frustration is my family are really fed up, and extremely blunt, i know if they thought i smelled they'd tell me. They say i don't smell, and keep referring me to counsellors. I know when i do smell, their honest and i smell myself in the air, and just get showered up. It's only when i'm near peers and outsiders it goes into panick. But i do believe i'm not imagining it when people cover their noses as i walk by. I'm not imagining when people pull away and make dramatic gestures about not being able to breathe, sniggering and covering their noses. Recently i got taken off a project i was working on because i'm convinced the people thought i smell. I walked up to one of the bosses and he twisted his face like the smell of me made him sick, the other colleague began laughing. I have now been exiled in another room.People who have tried to get close to me get fed up because sometimes i act so cold and distant for fear that i smell. I believe the stench is a clever one, it's almost like it picks the people that will make me the most uncomfortable. They tap their feet loudly, they sigh and gasp for breath. I take showers obsesively and stock up on deodorants rolons. One time i scrubbed so hard i bled. I've been to doctors, they say nothing. Dentist say i have a tooth infection, but i carry mouthwash and breathmints, and polo mints in my bag, i always ask my family and those around me, they say my breath doesn't smell. My family are extremely blunt. What do i do? How do i face this? It's haunted and sabotaged me for close to ten years. Guys who i like who have tried to get close to me, mistake my fear for arrogance and snobbery. What do i do? How do i beat this, enough is enough, i just wanna be fully confident. I've ended up in tears over this, it's set off panick attacks, and affected the epilepsy i deal with. I work so hard to build up my confidence, to look confident, to sound confident, all it takes is for one person to rub their nose and a few giggling, and i literally fall to pieces. How do i beat this? Is it mental or physical? Tweet