Re: thinking of remembering of child sexua| abuse

jsut to let u no my mom has alwasys had boyfreinds wen i was little. now iam starting to think everyone who i ever loved as a child fomr the age of 7 an adult male has the darkest secret or intentions like at any moment they could have the devils eyes and sexxually abuse me like a mad man. i can remember being really shitty about my self all the sudden maybe more than once n my childdhood where i changed complety . and i think i didnt even notice it why is that? i jsut kept moving along but as my soul was long gone and not even knowing. and i remember feeling like my body was touched and it just going numb like my bodys not mine its owned by someone else. now im starting to think all my moms boyfreinds abused me but i cant quite get the full 100% garauntee its like somethings off. could this just be i was sexually abused once and since then have have felt wierd around adult males in general. but im not sure cause i can remember it happening more than once where i lost my self.