Re: thinking of remembering of child sexua| abuse

im not gonna go out and say i was sexually abused to anyone unless im sure, i was thinking u guys could help me find out.

First i want to say that starting off wen i was little i was always happy about almost everything , always wanting to show off and and be the center of attention. Now this is almost like another kid that i once new that is no longer there, its like i was re born some day in my child hood to be depressed and sad and dissociated from my self. since this past month i had just discovered this about my self. because since that bad turn in my child hood i felt like i was fearless and had the most self confidence in the world and always was so iinto girls . but i just remember me sometime in myy childhood having something bad happen to me and me just not remembering or something and just telling my self i guess this is the way life is( i was not mature enough to no that i was just very depressed and distant from others not distant but having trouble opening up me to poeple and just always feeling distant from them even though there right there.)i just started to discover this wen i met this girl who i feel is just like me and its almost wirerd how i feel like shes so very different from everyone else very pretty but so scared of everything and no one nos it except me its like she puts up the same wall i do and its like that for no other person.i jsut want to say i started smoking pot a year ago and it was like a jault of something new and like a new person, and now since ive been smoking for a year idk if im goin crazy and making this up in my head (i dont think that at all). every one always told me im so good looking but its like there not telling me its wierd wen i look my self in the mirror i see a person its me but its just like somehting blocked out. but wen ever i try to think back to that traumatizing moment or thinking i had a traumatizing moment it hurts my head and makes me feel numb and almost thoughtless i was just trying to see someone elses opinion oon this