Blue Rose gave you direction to resources - use it. She is 100% spot-on that you need to get a grip on this, and asking for anyone in an online discussion forum to determine your reality is not a good idea. Sure, any number of CZ members could whip out a "diagnostic assessment," but only face-to-face and in-person counseling/therapy will unlock this door.
For me, there is much of my childhood that is a blur or even missing. I have no desire to unlock those closed doors and choose, instead, to work with what I have in the here-and-now. Certainly, our pasts have a direct connection to who we are and our choices, but dwelling on the past can become a dangerous obsession. If you truly believe that you were abused or molested, whether it was family, neighbor, or friend, do something about it for your Self (Self = soul). Only you have the ability to explain what's going on in relation to past events.