Re: thinking of remembering of child sexua| abuse

Blue Rose gave you direction to resources - use it.  She is 100% spot-on that you need to get a grip on this, and asking for anyone in an online discussion forum to determine your reality is not a good idea.  Sure, any number of CZ members could whip out a "diagnostic assessment," but only face-to-face and in-person counseling/therapy will unlock this door.

For me, there is much of my childhood that is a blur or even missing.  I have no desire to unlock those closed doors and choose, instead, to work with what I have in the here-and-now.  Certainly, our pasts have a direct connection to who we are and our choices, but dwelling on the past can become a dangerous obsession.  If you truly believe that you were abused or molested, whether it was family, neighbor, or friend, do something about it for your Self (Self = soul).  Only you have the ability to explain what's going on in relation to past events. 

Best wishes to you.