Re: Was it rape?

Rape is any act with sexual intent that is not consentual.

Indeed, the description of your episode was a bit too graphic and this is a symptom of your whole relationship with this man. Giving in to ANY act that is uncomfortable, painful, demeaning, humiliating, or distasteful in order to "please" a partner is a screaming, flapping red flag. Sexual activity is one of the first things that an abuser uses to control their victims - either not enough, too much, not promiscuous enough, or too promiscuous, the victim is made to feel that they should be engaging in whatever will make their partner happy and that their sexual history is a tool of control and humiliation.

May I hazard a guess that your boyfriend also views p 0 r n o g r a p h y? If this is a fact, then his views of women, women's sexuality, and what constitutes a "healthy" relationship has been severely warped by what is portrayed in p 0 r n o g r a p h i c images and videos.

I was married to a person similar to what you're describing. It never gets better and introducing children into the environment is disastrous for the innocent lives that are produced, and for all others (extended family) who may be emotionally involved.

If it were me (and, it was), I would step back, consider what my goals for myself are, where I see myself in the next 5 years, and, begin to think about my Self (Self = the Life's Spark that makes me unique) FIRST. Hindsight is always 20/20 and it pains me to see so many women (particularly) look back on their choices and say, "I thought he would get better."

Best wishes to you. Tweet