first i would like to thank you all for your thoughts and opinions, i really appreciate it much it has helped me just being able to express my feelings on her without judgement, but my update is that we both decided after a few days of not trying to talk or fight about the situation to just take some time and take care of ourselves in the process to understand each other more and have more time to talk about the positives in each others lives and to have our communication line be more opened so we are not at this point again
TO "No Biz" i feel like your husband is my husband funny enough, and your situations seemed to mirror mine, and everything you typed was pretty much was on my mind, it was nice to read someone else's problems that mirrored my own self which brought more light to how i can better and improve my situation. really if you want to stay in touch i am always here, i feel like we can exchange ideas lol.
thank you all for the insight, much better than therapists lol