Edited

You made a number of really great points in your post! I especially like what you said about the experience of joyous abiding! I believe that within this there is also the question of how we choose to connect with others. Do we choose to connect around pleasure or do we choose to connect around pain? I found for myself, and also in my working with and observation of people, that the vast majority of people elect to connect around pain. And while pain is certainly a very human condition, each and every one of us has within us the ability to rise up from that pain and live in such a state of joy, as you have stated! As you said, our emotions are our own responsibility. And we become more empowered when we take ownership of them, and learn to transmute our emotional energy. Here is a link to a book which I found extremely helpful in this regard:


http://www.amazon.com/Meeting-Shadow-New-Consciousness-Reader/dp/087477618X/r...


At the same time, we can also make a conscious effort to be of service and lend a hand to those who are also wishing to rise up out of their pain! And I agree with you that this is best done by solid example and also from a place of 'warm detachment'. We are each fully capable of discovering the answers for ourselves. It is very true what you've said about 'helping' others and how people identify themselves in that particular role. I believe that those in the 'helping professions' often do a tremendous disservice to others by fostering the erroneous belief that we are not capable of finding the answers for ourselves! We all have within us everything we need; much like an acorn contains the blueprint for a mighty fine oak tree!

There is one thing, however, that I view differently regarding your post. I would not suggest that someone function in a parent role with their partner. This can potentially have detrimental effects to the sexual energy between partners down the road. Frankly, it is possible for such a relationship to begin feeling incestuous and for the sexual energies to dampen considerably. Obviously, this is something which is better off avoided! If a partner is in need of a parent role model, they would do much better to find this with a therapist, teacher or mentor. Transactional analysis (TA) is a convenient model to work with in this regard. Here is a link that gives some introductory information:


http://www.businessballs.com/transact.htm


Although this model of communication has its limitations, nevertheless, it is a helpful guide for simplifying and understanding the interactions between ourselves and others.