Re: Gentle Guidance Requested

This is a tough situation and I dont think there is any ONE advice to give. I think its more giving you some input about things to consider. You want to help this man and that is a wonderful thing however it sounds like you are getting wrapped up in his downward spiral on top of your own problems.Why is he trying to comit suicide? Is this because he is proving something to you or is he manipulating you with these threats or is he really "just" downright depressed? I hope for you it is the last option because you do not want someone who puts their problems on your shoulder. If he is depressed (and drinking can be a symptom of that) he needs to seek help. If he constantly wants to kill himself his place is best in a mental clinic where he can be treated over a couple of weeks in order to find his way out again. There they can also help him out with other stuff (testing him for bipolar disorder or others). My point is at this moment in time he probably needs a friend more than anything - someone who can take a step back from being too emotionally involved and who can be firm with him. Quite frankly, judging from your post, this doesnt sound like a very healthy situation for you and the danger is that you slip into a coaddiction (´not saying you are addited but you become his "helper" in his problems- because you love him and you take on far too much responsibility for him, something he needs to learn in order to battle addiction anyway). Its great you want to help him but his problems will always be something that he needs to work on. His addiction is his wakeup call to do something- not yours. He is an adult - if he continually wants to kill himself, as harsh as it sounds- it is his choice after all and he is an adult who needs to account for his choices. Hey, good luck with this man- dont let him drag you down- stay up there where you can help him/ or yourself.