Re: Gentle Guidance Requested

Is he truthful? Without truthfulness, there's no solid foundation to build any sort of human character, morality or dignity on. It seems as if he lied about not spending your money on booze.

Has he stolen anything from you, like money for booze?

Is he an abusive tyrant?

Tough love is required to help someone with the above traits. Kindness shown to people with these traits does not do them any good. If the truth hurts, it's still the truth, & it's the best place to start.

Do not pretend with this person.
Do not ignore his actions.
Respond to everything.
Do not lose yourself to him.

Substance abuse & alcohol can make a spouse/partner impossible to LIVE with, but certain to die quickly with.

If you feel your life is in danger, get help right away.

If he kills himself, you're not responsible. It's not your fault. He's the only man responsible for his actions & you're the only one responsible for yours. He owes you nothing & vice-versa. If he did you good in the past, be thankful & grateful, but you do not owe him your life. Serve everybody with your life, but do not let them abuse you until you have no nerves left with which to live life. It's difficult & important to learn healthy boundaries when those who were supposed to teach them to us were the worst violators of them all, but still, it's an important lesson to learn. Read Patricia Evan's books.

You could try ho'oponopono & it may help, as well as EFT, & prayer, but in the end you must work on yourself for no one can exalt another person who's living a delusional lie, & hurts, lies to & steals from you or anyone else.