Re: My deep depression and search for spirituality

LarryB,

Dehydrated spirit? Cold?,...you understand love as a SENTIMENT (the only true sentiment, not a mere EMOTION). It almost sounds like you're describing "this world". Perhaps, you desire a "better country" (like the Israelites in the desert, Hebrews 11:16). You wouldn't be depressed (sad/disappointed in this world) if you didn't feel the same (homesick for The Lord). If you conformed to this shallow, cold, corrupt/unjust world that has a "dehydrated spirit", you wouldn't be depressed, but you find this world to be "upsetting" and uncomfortable, and can't truly be content without a "heavenly" country,...you're a holdout for justice (profound people are like that).

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You haven't found "rituals" to be spiritually fulfilling, nor has "belief"/faith impressed your heart and mind, you recognize the militancy and partisanship (Phillipians 1:17) of the Christian "right" as not being what Jesus spoke about in His sermon (Sermon On The Mount).

God is not faith, God is love, and our trust in Him (faith) should be borne out of love, the "greatest of these" (1 Corinthians 13:13).

Adam and Eve ate of the tree of conscience/"innate sense of right and wrong", and by rejecting conscience, some make shipwreck of their own PERSONAL faith/relationship. It is not simply enough to just accept Jesus as the purification of our souls, we must also be good students of The Father's eternal spirit in order to have our conscience purified (Hebrews 9:14). You "long" for The Lord and want to know "the depths of God" (1 Corinthians 2:10) and favor a PERSONAL relationship/devotion that makes actual sense to "you and ONLY you" (PERSONAL relationship with your idiosyncracies, habits, shortcomings, etc.). No doubt, you have learned well the introductory/"elementary" doctrine (Hebrews 6:1). Because you know how to "distinguish" (instead of simply "divide" in segments,...naughty, sneaky, etc., Hebrews 5:14) between right and wrong (good and evil), you are ready to eat "solid food" and need no longer restrict yourself to God's written word of two thousand years ago ("word of truth", 2 Timothy 2:15, Ephesians 1:13), but can now HEAR (the word that we are to LIVE BY, Galatians 5:16 and 25) God's word (Ephesians 6:17, John 10:27, it is the sword that divides by making a "distinction" between right and wrong), for you know that love is just a singular attitude of heart and mind and is not four types of RELATIONSHIPS (agape, philos, eros, and storge are RELATIONSHIPS, not LOVE ITSELF). There have always been MANY things about Christianity that have not been taught because unspiritual man cannot percieve the things of God (God all inclusive, in His entirety, "God is ONE", Galatians 3:20).

All of your life, God taught you (you probably had little understanding of that), but because you long (this doesn't come from any "book") for Him, you were a good student. He gives good fatherly advice (truth, John 14:6) in His book and we learn not to make the mistake of the prodigal son and sin "against heaven" so that we can draw closer to Him.

All verses are from the RSV.

I know this post seemed a little off topic in these forum, but a profound and sensitive heart is "depressed" SPIRITUALLLY.