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Day 22
swimming against the tide
Date: 6/23/2006 11:50:23 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 3961 times 
Day 22 was a day I felt like I was swimming against the tide.
I did all of my chores and Master Cleanse extra-curriculars,
but I felt like I was dragging around a 25 pound weight
attached to my bum...ggg...
I felt like my life was going in slow motion, and try as I
might, I was not making much progress...nothing seemed to help.
I decided to go outside to sunbathe since that does not take
too much energy and it is very healing.
That lasted just under 5 minutes since a storm moved in and
put out my light so-to-speak. I decide to go to the highway
and get the mail at the box before heavier rain came. On the
way back, I got a bright idea!
I decided to just give in...turn on the air conditioning and
loll about in my bed. I did not even feel like reading. I did
not feel like listening to television or music. I did not feel
like drinking anymore lemonade! I felt like I had the flu
without the symptoms and that my body was struggling for rest....
Within minutes it seemed I had drifted to an ancient place.
I was stone and still and the sands of sleep covered my body
and my thoughts and I struggled to let go, the lingering
thoughts of my desires and wants I had wanted to accomplish
flying at me like a swarm of gnats...
At last, I disconnected, my thoughts went quiet and I was
flying in some universal reality...nothing here mattered and
even the dogs barking filtered in but nothing could stop the
sleep from overcoming me and taking me on my journey into a
cosmic unknown...
I zoned out and though aware of shifting my body position,
I felt like wherever I went, I went to soak up energy and to
saturate my body with healing...
Time must have stopped while I checked out the comet factory
and enjoyed the healing of those that watch over us. I did not
sleep all the day but slowly came back into my body somewhat
more secure that my detox seizure had let go.
It took me about an hour to reorient myself and get my feet
on terra firma...ggg. I felt like I imagine an astronaut feels
when he has been gone to outer space for a while and tries to
walk again when he comes back.
I remind myself how much I like coffee and would love to have
some now. Dutifully, and faithful to my commitment, I fetch a
bottle of lemonade from the refrigerator and like an alchemist,
measure out the cayenne, and stir the red specks in my glass
until the whole mixture has a radiant glow of carmine red.
I did not listen to the news past the drone of some sting
operation in Miami. I did not watch television. I did not do
much else the evening except post a little to the forum, to
reinforce my will to stick with the program. I brushed the dogs
who were more than happy to roll from side to side for attention.
I almost didnt take a bath but knew sleeping and detoxing meant
my body needed to soak off the sweat no matter how sweet it
smelled....ggg.
I changed my sheets and opened the window to listen to the night
sounds while my bath ran and my lax tea steeped. I was grateful
for the night coming. It meant more rest and that today was ending
and tomorrow with all its promise, would emerge while I slept.
I hoped with all my heart that tomorrow, things would speed up and
that the energy I longed for would arrive. I blame or bless the
cayenne for the detoxing so am not really discouraged. No one
really likes the low days though...ggg
I wish all my fellow fasters success in their detoxing~~~!
be happy, be well,
Zoe
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