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1/28/14: The Winter weather only gives me time to think.
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
Date: 1/29/2014 3:54:46 PM ( 10 y ) ... viewed 10526 times January 28, 2014
“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
This weather is pushing me down, making me feel more horrible then I usually am. Usually I can find solace in small thing small, like a good book, a cuddle with Mekong or just a beautiful view. Everything around me just seems so drab and cold.
My phone is silent. D. hasn't texted me at all. I said a couple cheerful things to him and tried to engage him into conversation, but nothing. I am back to talking to myself once again. Gosh, how I hate being alone in this huge world. I hate to express to my friends (those few that I have) how lonely I am right now, because it seems like I am just complaining. I hate to complain to others. So I will just keep it to myself on here, because at least I am expressing it a bit with the hopes that it will lie low for a while, until it is warmer and sunnier.
What good things that are happening? None of my other faucets have frozen up. Just the hot water in my kitchen. I just hope it hasn't burst. I checked and I haven't seen any water under my trailer (I did a quick check). I am still alive. And I am still healthy. I guess that is it at the moment. Oh, another good thing. I am down to only 3 more payments on my car. I sent my payment on Friday, January 24, 2014, but the payment is due today. So I should be only approximately $600.00 off from being done. Now that is exciting for me. Not that I am going to spend the extra $200.00 that I will have in May. I will just save it like I was still making a car payment and deposit it into my savings. I will just have to see how far I get with that one.
I guess I should do a review of my 2014 Yearly goals. I need to see how far I come and if I am getting any where with them. So one of my 2014 yearly goals will be accomplished in April (#12 Paying off my 2006 Ford Focus). I have been doing well with #1 (saving money) and #13 (Keep a budget and balance check book). I have read 6 books this year so far, which is really putting a dent in #19 (Read 60 books). I have been working on ideas for #25 (Write a children's book about Bickle Bunnybunns and Whatsit Mouse) I have started #4 (Keep a journal) but been really slacking off on it. Some goals I haven't given started yet like #16 (Re-learn how to play guitar), which I need my tuner from D. before I can start that. Or #20 (Read the Bible in a year ), which there is no excuse for. Or #6 (Learn basic French). Maybe I should focus on the yearly goals once a month to see how I am doing and how far I am going. I use to do that when I set my 5 year old when I was just starting college. Gosh, I haven't set a 5 year old since 1997. I guess the reason is because I really don't know where my life will be in 5 years. I am kind of afraid to set one, to only find out that none of my deeper dreams haven't come true. It kind of reeks when one sets a goal, accomplishes it, but has no way of being able to accomplish the goal of getting married and having children.
Sigh. That is when goal setting gets even more depressing.
The Things that I accomplished already today are:
January 28, 2014
√ Make my Bed
√ Feed, love and snuggle with my kitties
√ Read a little
√ Check my pipes
The Things I want to accomplish before I go to bed:
January 28, 2014
Call my Dad
Read more
WEEKLY GOAL FOR JANUARY 26th – FEBRUARY 1st, 2014
WORK ON BUDGET: I am on target. I haven't had to make any adjustments because I haven't spend anything.
WRITE IN JOURNAL 7 TIMES: Nope, I am really slacking on this goal now.
FINISH A BOOK: I was able to read a little bit on my lunch (which I didn't eat anything again) and before I fell asleep.
WRITE 1,000 WORDS ON MY NOVEL: I have started the Title page and have a quote written down. Now I really need to formulate a 10 quick scene cards, so I can start writing.
CROCHET 5 TIMES: Nope. I haven't started this yet, but I have a lovely knitted carrot that I need to start (once it warms up a bit more) for the Bickle story, and maybe a mouse too.
READ BIBLE 7 TIMES: Nope.
SAVE $10.00 IN SAVINGS: This might have been be held off until next week, when I have the money. Too much money coming out this week for bills. Lot Rent always takes a lot out of me.
CREATE A PIECE OF ARTWORK: I am still thinking about a collage. I am kind of waiting for it to warm up a little bit.
WRITE ROUGHT DRAFT OF BICKLE STORY: I have a couple ideas, but nothing solid yet. I should write down what I have. I thought I would work in something about Bickle's lumpy carrot, as the stuffing comes out and he has a nightmare about it. Now, Bickle is just Bickle. I made him as my own personal travel mascot. Very like the Travelosity Garden Gnome. I looked around to figure out if I wanted to make one or just buy some little stuffed animal. I found a cute little bunny pattern, and I crocheted him in one sitting (It took me approximately 9 hours) on April 14, 2012. Thought the years, he has went to me to see the Cowboy and his girls (they just adore him, and are awaiting their own “Bickle”), To Upstate New York to see my Father (I have a picture of my Dad holding him) and other places like the bank. I have a little photo album of him doing various fun things. It is funny, because Bickle has a fan club (as my sisters were waiting to see what he would do next, when I posted pictures on my Facebook). My sister in 2012 suggested that I should write a little book to go with Bickle, and she mentioned it again in November 2013, when I was up visiting for Thanksgiving. So this is why I am trying to rough something out. I came up with another idea. Well, it isn't really new. But just revived. When I was pregnant, I would thinking up a little story about a tiny mouse named “Whatsit”, because the little mouse is always asking “What is it?”. I was going to crochet/knit a little mouse for my baby. Well, I miscarried, and the little story kind of died as well. But as I was thinking and laying in Bed, it came to me again. But Whatsit had a family. Her mother “Gillyfind” and her father, Farenlost. I thought it would be funny that a mouse that finds everything, and a little mouse that loses everything being husband and wife. I I might change the Father to “Phillyfind” and the Mother to “Farenlost” in case it is bad that a male is always lost. But I like Gillyfind and Farenlost the best. And their little mousie is Reethat (As she always pointed to “that” before she could say much) but her nickname is “Whatsit” as she is always asking “What is it?”. So my idea regarding Bickle, is that Bickle doesn't have a family and no real age. So I thought I would making him young, with a mother and father. Or maybe just a mother (for all those single mothers out there). I came up with another idea for a story. Bickle, the cold and the tissue butterflies. I thought it would be cute for a mother to teach her son how to blow his nose, who has a horrible cold and to tons of tissue butterflies that capture the cold as he is trying to get better. I might do this story line as well. I will have to see.
WATER FAST: I haven't eat today, but I haven't really been thinking about it much. I can't say I have started a water fast, because I haven't really been drinking water. I have a a cup of tea earlier, but other than that nothing. If I did eat something, it probably would be just soup, as that is all that I have on hand until I can go grocery shopping again next week, at the earliest. I really wanted to water fast but I broke it. The weather has gotten a little bit warmer, but not much yet. It won't be above 0 degrees until tomorrow some time. And even then it is will be low cold digits like 3 or 4 degrees. I guess if I haven't eating anything by tomorrow then I can say that I have just involuntarily started a water fast. I guess that would happen if one doesn't have an appetite. I guess if I still feel that way tomorrow then I should just go with it.
I thought about writing a daily Haiku in order to motivate myself to write more. I used to write a poem a day. Sometimes I would write 4 or 5. So here is my 5 -7-5 syllable Haiku poem
Dull Winter wind cuts deep,
Burrowing deep into warmth,
Longing for bright Spring
I guess that is how I will end my day. With a poem.
DAILY MORALE: Confused, and lonely (missing D very much. I haven't seen him since January 4th)
POSITIVE THING: Someone that the knowing how to knit and crochet is a beautiful skill to have.
EXERICISE: Walking, 1.32 Miles
WATER INTAKE: Approximately 12 ounces
WEIGHT: 143 pounds
INITIAL STARTING WEIGHT: 147 pounds (1/20/14 -1/24/14 (5 days))
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