Day 10 of Post Water Fast by Sacristia Blog entry

Blog: My Health Journey
by Sacristia

Day 10 of Post Water Fast

My daily Journey to a healthier life style

Date: 2/1/2011 5:01:28 PM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 43339 times

January 30, 2011

I had a lovely morning, even thought my mind was tied up with emotional things. Phil texted me around 2:30 a.m to tell me that he was lonely and was wondering what I was doing. I told him that I was sleeping until he woke me up. I told him I understood the loneliness as I missed his company. Then he said “I don't know if I should ask this, but would you like to spend the night with with me?” I was shocked that he would even ask. I was really torn, because deep in my heart, I really wanted to, but I knew that the reason for him asking was just because he was feeling lonely. I texted him back and told him that it probably wasn't a good idea, as it would confuse things. He ended up calling me a couple minutes later to talk to me. I told him that I would love to spend the night with him, but it wouldn't be right for my heart to do so. He then asked me if I was seeing some one else. I told him “No” but I didn't know how to explain to him that I was trying to deal with getting over him in many ways still. He told me that one of mother's friend's had a daughter, who was younger then he was, and he had been talking to her, but she told him that she was developing feelings for him and he ended the friendship right then and there due to that. It made my heart skip a beat when he told me that. Not that it should mean anything to me, as we are not dating anymore, but it made me worry about things. Phil noticed I got very quiet on the phone and said so. I told him “what am I suppose to say, you can do what you want and it is none of my business”. Of course, I wanted to ask questions like “Why did you end the friendship? Are you just running from a new relationship because 'ours' was so horrible? Why if you ended it with this woman, is that why you want to spend time with me now? Do you even miss me or am I just a convenience to you? We talked for a little bit, and ended the phone call. All I did after wards is curl up in a ball in my blankets and cry. I was confused on how I felt and what actually was going on. I know that I have to have trust in God to guide me in the right direction. But it is so hard, when I still have feelings for Phil. I know that he didn't treat me the best, but I have a forgiving heart, and I know that he stresses out and lashes out when he is stressed.

Other then that my morning was okay. Mekong stuck very close to me until I got up. I have a feeling she knew that I was in some type of turmoil. When I got up, I tried flushing the toilet and I found to my amazement, that it flushed correctly! It was free and clear. I was so excited and I thanked God for blessing me with this very simple thing in my life. After that most of the day went gloriously, as I washed out my toilet and my tub, so I could take a shower later. I did two loads of laundry, cleaned my kitchen and did my dishes.

I called my mother and my Dad and got to talk to them both for a short amount of time, which brought me much happiness as well. I talked to my Dad about wanting to plant a container garden this year want that I was planning on growing. I told my Dad about all the cooking I had been doing for myself and how I had been eating better and taking care of myself a lot better then I had in the past. My Dad told me that health is everything, and a person should do their best to take care of themselves before it is too late. He is health has been bad, since catching the swine flu, and it damaging his lungs to the point he is on oxygen for the rest of his life now. He has struggled with staying healthy due to his lungs being damaged. He catches pneumonia so easily now, and he told me how his kidneys shut down for a bit back in May, and now he has to take a potassium pill, as he doesn't absorb potassium as easily as he used to because of his kidney problems. I really hated hearing all of this from him, as to picture him weak and ill, frightens me as I love my father so very much. I knew that he wasn't tell me to scare me, but to remind me that I must take care of myself and eat right. I guess if he hadn't taken care of himself all these years (as he has always eating well, and got a lot of exercise), he might be far worse then what he is. He might have even died if he wasn't as healthy as he was. I guess that is one reason why I do worry about my mother a bit and how she eats and lives. Her being overweight is not good for our history of high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes. I lost connection with my father several times while on the phone with him. It was almost comical, but it was not a problem with me. I really enjoyed talking to my father and even my step mother for a little bit. We talked about clipping coupons, buying in bulk and saving money this way and that. LOL. I was really excited about telling my parents about my unfrozen sewer line. LOL

After my phone calls with my father and my mother separately, I was feeling pretty blessed and happy with my life. I talked to God for a bit, thanking him again for the unfrozen sewer line and the blessing of being able to talk to both of my parents. I talked about my torn heart about Phil and how He knew that I still cared for him, but yet I didn't trust myself to know if Phil was being sincere or just playing some little game with me because he was lonely. I just knew that I was going to have to put my trust in God with this one, no matter how hard it was.

It was lovely that my toilet was working correctly, as I could have a BM without worrying if I was somewhere other then home. I have a feeling that I am still very dehydrated, but I have been cutting down my liquids, as I didn't want to go to the bathroom as often as I had too since until today, my toilet wasn't flushing correctly. Thank you Lord that it works now. I hope that I never complaint over things I have not idea what it truly is like not to have them, such as a working toilet and shower. I have been very blessed and I am really beginning to see that now.

Later on in the afternoon, I went the Dollar Tree to pick up some more salt, and some other needed things. And just for fun, I went to Menards to check out the garden center, as they had a cold frame for only $27.00. I would have loved to get one, but since I had already spend $30.00 on myself earlier in the week (buying some black yarn( 2 one pound skeins), and box shelve with drawers which was only $15.00, which was perfect for holding ,my tea bags) I felt it wasn't right to spend more money on myself. Maybe the week of my birthday, I will spend a little bit on myself, as this coming week, I have to pay for my lot rent and will have no extra to do so. I looked at all the lovely seeds, and the little starter pots and starter greenhouses. I got all excited about wanting to plant, plant, plant something! I can't wait until the weather gets better so I can start my container garden.

I had a lovely God moment on my way home from window shopping. I was driving home when the song “Until the whole world hears” by Casting Crowns was playing on KLOVE. It just gripped my heart so quickly that I blared the radio and sang it as loud as I could. At that moment, I really felt that God had a grip of my heart, and it was much softer then it has been over the last year or so. He was softening my heart from all the hardship and stress and rejection I have felt. I realized at the moment, how very blessed I was and how God has blessed me so much and I was blind to see it. The song really helped open the door a little bit more, since the words gripped me and God gripped me even tighter, that I felt loved more at the moment then I have in the last year. It was wonderful. I was on top of the world and realized that I DID have to put my trust in HIM, no matter what came along.

Lord, I want to feel with Your heart
See the world through Your eyes
I want to be Your hands and feet
I want to live a life that leads

Ready yourselves, ready yourselves
Let us shine the light of Jesus in the darkest night
Ready yourselves, ready yourselves
May the powers of darkness tremble as our praises rise

Until the whole world hears, Lord, we are calling out
Lifting up Your name for all to hear the sound
Like voices in the wilderness we’re crying out
And as the day draws near, we’ll sing until the whole world hears

Lord, let Your sleeping giant rise
Catch the demons by surprise
Holy nations sanctify
Let this be our battle cry

Ready yourselves, ready yourselves
Let us shine the light of Jesus in the darkest night
Ready yourselves, ready yourselves
May the powers of darkness tremble as our praises rise

~ Until the Whole World Hears by Casting Crowns

When I got home, I was so excited and feeling alive that I didn't know that to do. I felt like dancing all over the place. I haven't felt the power of the Holy Spirit in a very long time, that it was so comforting as well as powerful, as it made me very energetic, that it took a while for me to settle down. I am sure my kitties thought I was hyper or something. LOL I ended up listening to some more Christian music, while I did some dishes, crocheted some of my new cowl and got ready for Monday.

When finally did settle down and get in bed for the night, I felt very blessed and I thanked God for being there for me and showing me that even thought I wandered away, that it was always wonderful to be greeted back into His lovely flock

FOOD INTAKE:

BREAKFAST : (None, as I slept in until around noon)

DRINK: 8 ounces of water

SNACK: None (I wasn't hungry)

LUNCH: 1 cup of bean stew with hot sauce, garlic and herbs seasonings added

DRINK: 6 ounces of Oolong Tea

SNACK: NONE

DINNER: A serving size of baked Salmon and One cup of veggies (broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, mushrooms, green peppers and onions)

EXERICISE: Walked 1.24 Miles

WATER INTAKE: about 8 ounces of water.

WEIGHT: 129 pounds