Poisoned By Hitler 13 y
echoes of war
My grandfather was a warrior. He fought in the First World War and served as well in the second. My father also fought in the Second World War. A lot of men and women of their generation did, as we all should know and remember. A lot of them did not return. Of those that did return, my father was one of them. My grandfather was also one of the fortunate ones, depending on your view, who survived those horrific days and nights to return to his family.
War changes a man, which is a well known fact. Sometimes, often, that change is not for the better.
After his return my father was one of ... read more
The Burden of Proof 14 y
waiting for godot
For a number of years now, I have searched high and low for just ONE case of anyone’s kidneys being healed after stage 5 kidney failure is present. In fact, I have yet to read of ONE report of kidneys being cured BY ANY MEANS from any stage of kidney failure.
I have read numerous claims by some, but I have yet to see ONE report from a REPUTABLE SOURCE that corraborates and supports any of these claims. No scientific, medical data or any positive results from anywhere that has been documented after extensive research and examination.
Also, if there were ever a case of kidney failure bei ... read more
Golden Moments 14 y
well, he looks just fine.
It’s not easy being happy as a dialysis patient. Most people who have no experience of dialysis, or kidney disease in general, have no idea what a dialysis patient goes through day to day and night to night.
People look at me and think ’he looks alright, I guess dialysis has cured him.’
The fact is that dialysis is definitely NOT a ’cure’ for kidney failure, or any other medical condition.
Dialysis is a TREATMENT that is intended to keep a patient alive until a kidney becomes available for transplant or until the patient dies. Most dialysis patients who stay on dialysis for an extended ... read more
Rain of Feathers 14 y
the folly of man
It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen in my life. Seriously. I looked out the window of the balcony in our 9th floor condo one summer afternoon. An incredible sight greeted my eyes.
It was a thin stream of white flakes, cascading down from above like a faucet had been turned on in the sky.
I looked up, but the stream began outside of my line of vision, above and beyond the roof of the 14 storied high-rise condominium we lived in. I was employed as a weekend maintenance man, so I had the keys to the roof. Up I went to investigate this strange phenomenon.
On the roof, ... read more
Synchronicity 14 y
The mystery continues...
During the late 70’s I was a professional drummer, playing in a band that was on the first leg of an 8 month tour across Canada. On the first night we were playing in a small town in south-western Ontario. We were invited to a party on a farm, just outside of the town, after the show. I declined the invitation because I wanted to get up early enough to get a train to another town where my mother was in hospital for cancer treatment.
Around 5 in the morning I was awakened by some of the other members returning to their rooms. They had been in a bad truck accident on the way back from the ... read more
The Micro of the Macro 14 y
Recently, my dialysis team suggested some changes in my dialysis procedure that was intended to make me feel a little better. And actually, after a few days I did feel a bit more energetic, to tell the truth.
But, the changes had a few effects that were not so pleasant. Because the changes entailed my getting more efficient dialysis, (removal of toxins from my system, essentially), one of the effects was dehydration and quite possibly potassium depletion, which led to severe legs cramps in the middle of the night.
I’m not crazy about some of the medications I’m supposed to take, and ... read more
Emotional Alchemy 14 y
Making the Choice
In meditation, it is said that one should ’empty one’s mind’.
But, what does one ’empty’ or ’pour out’ from the mind?
Thought? Images? Patterns? Ideas? Problems? How?
The practice asks one to simply sit in a comfortable position, slowly and calmly soften the breath, the gaze, and be still.
What we empty in this practice is emotion. One sits in calm serenity, mindful of nothing, or at the very least, mindful of breath, be it the sensation of air through the nostrils or the gentle expansion and contraction of the belly.
When one has reached a state of ’empty-of-emotions’,
it sudd ... read more
An Unexpected Gift 14 y
One of the things I miss most, since my kidneys failed, is playing music.
I’m still capable, somewhat, but as far as committing to a regular performance regimen; it’s just out of the picture.
Recently, a cyber-friend sent me a web cam. I used to enjoy busking a lot, (playing on the streets) and thanks to modern technology, I have a large part of my life back.
Thanks to my good friend Steve. read more
Drum 15 y
Today I walked into the park and sat on a bench by a little pond. I drummed for the ducks, crows, gulls and passerby gathered.
A group of about seven asian tourists took pictures of the little pond and the birds and danced to my rhythm, smiling. A young, hip girl grinned behind me as she practiced with her fire-dance balls, swinging them smoothly, describing the cosmic
ballet we are all part of, whether we know it or not.
A young couple were also behind me. They said they had heard the drumming from across the park and came closer to enjoy it more. They chatted with me when I paused to ... read more
Adventures with My Heart 15 y
the alchemists' dream
Date: Halloween, 2008. The week before this ancient and deliciously pagan holiday my heart began beating with a wildly erratic rhythm, going from 36 beats per minute to 90 beats per minute. I began to feel dizzy every time it slowed and as the week progressed it only worsened.
I was hospitalised and a pacemaker, or ‘pulse generator’ was inserted into my upper left chest to correct my wandering heart’s dance.
It is widely suspected that the heart medication I had been taking for so long had disrupted the electrical
pattern of my heart and the upper and lower chambers could no longer co ... read more
Conscious Evolution 15 y
We believe that our consciousness is what separates us from the animal kingdom. We also think that this (consciousness) makes us somehow ’superior’ to the animals. Sometimes, its hard to believe, with some of the atrocities done by humans to other humans and animals.
We could say that consciousness does, or could give us an ’edge’ on our ability to survive. But, it can also be a great hindrance to our survival sometimes, as well as a weight that slows down the natural process of evolution.
For instance; we instill strong beliefs in our children when they are very young. One phrase th ... read more
Dialysis -The Last Resort 15 y
The Process of Dialysis
Many have heard of dialysis, but unless you know someone that depends on it to stay alive or you are fortunate enough to be one that doesn’t have to rely on it, you probably don’t know what it is and what is involved. Here is a basic primer of dialysis.
Dialysis is a treatment that is given to those who have, for whatever reason, lost their kidney function. The kidneys process water, salt and filter toxins in the body, (blood) sending the excess to the bladder to be disposed of. If your kidneys don’t work properly, or at all, you are in danger of being inundated with toxins that will even ... read more
To be or not.... 15 y
Life or death?
Over the past few years, having been afflicted with renal failure and needing dialysis to stay alive, I have had numerous occasions to ponder the value of my life, as it is now.
One of the many inconveniences of my condition is that it can be very difficult to get a good night’s sleep. From time to time I find myself staring into the blackness of the night and thinking about my limited options.
The intermittent leg cramps, constant itching, physical weakness and fatigue, the loss of sexua| desire and social interaction, as well as the inability to continue my life as a musician and t ... read more
Truth 15 y
when you live a lie, the truth seems very strange
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