Hi Turiya
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just from my own small experience of a health problem [which is really nothing in comparison], i would think that the biggest thing is that one experiences [as body-mind mechanism begins to be affected in its ability to function normally] is that there is sort of a silent curtain of Depression that starts to descend. at first it is slight, and only the one affected is the only one that is aware of it. and if they are really good about hiding things from others, they could easily be hiding this from themselves as well. but the feeling that you are alone in the situation grows. and the feeling that you are becoming more and more isolated from the rest of the world can generate a genuine fear, if one is not use to being alone. and, then it can only be imagined that the Depression comes on much more quickly.>>
While there is certainly that aspect it, I think it is actually a physical
mechanism involved--there is something which prevents the pleasure center
in the brain from firing, so the smile and laughter and joy fades away.
(In psychology I think they call it "anhedonia" or some such.)
That is truly heartbreaking. My husband rarely talks about his feelings of
depression, but recently he talked of feeling "flat" and needing some
additional pharmaceutical support, so he got Wellbutrin, but isn't taking it.
He just wanted it around in case he felt he needed to use it. He is very
even-tempered and it takes a LOT to get him mad or agitated. But even he
has his limits, of course. Considering it all, he is doing remarkably well.
But I also question how much of it he keeps bottled up inside, as that has
been his pattern. He never was good at talking about his feelings, as a
lot of men are (that, is they are not good at it). And so far I have not ever
seen it where he didn't want to get up out of bed, it takes him a few minutes
as he is stiff (Parkinson's makes you stiff) but he gets right up after
that. me, I would be complaining constantly :-) Maybe that's why we're
together--opposites attract?
Before he was diagnosed, his little nephew (at the time around 11 or so)
once said to him "Why do you look like that?" What he meant is, "why do
you have such an expressionless facial expression" We sort of laughed about it
at the time, but later on, I realized that was part of the syndrome,
of course, and it was not funny at all, naturally. Yes, it is all quite
heartbreaking and we keep praying for a miracle to occur.