Re: ack!

Soulfulsurvivor,

I always respect your viewpoints, but have you coonsidered this:

Children deserve to be loved and cared for by a mother and father. They should be able to trust, at the very least, there own mother and father. They should have the opportunity to grow up feeling safe and secure knowing that their mom and dad will do ANYTHING to ensure their safety and well-being. I will do ANYTHING; I will sacrifice ANYTHING to give my children this. I know what it's like to grow up in a negative, untrusting and unloving family and I refuse to place that on my children.

My children know that I am angry with dad, that he made a huge error, but they also know that I am a loving, caring and compassionate woman who will do the right thing by them. They do not fear and trust me to do the right thing. They also trust their dad to do the right thing and make ammends for his mistakes. We are human beings and we all make mistakes, that's inevetible. Having four children I know that someday, at least one of them will make a huge mistake, but I will not stop loving them; I will be there for them and see them through their dark time, after all that's what a family is for, right?

My husband is a good man, who at times in his life got a big head, got cocky, needed attention to feel good about himself (but never in front of me, only on trips away from home), much of this goes back to issues with his own father, which he is now working through. My husband and I have always gotten along well, we enjoy each others company and I have loved him more than any other man. This has been hard for me to overcome but I believe I can get there. I will love him again in time. He has assured me that he will do whatever it takes to make me happy again. He really has humbled himself a great deal during this whole ordeal. Honestly, I can say that he must truly love me to work this hard at salvaging our marriage.

In many ways I see what has happened as a test from God...I am such a proud person, anyone who has hurt me in life has been cut off. This is not how it should be. I am not perfect I have done many stupid, irresponsible and selfish things during my lifetime, things I am not proud of and things I would not want my children to know, yet here I am faced with a man, who I chose to spend the rest of my life with and he has been stupid, irresponsible, and selfish. Okay, so my mistakes happened before I was married, but none the less I was that person at certain points in my life too. So how can't I forgive him?

SoulfulSurvivor you said,

"Children learn from watching their parents - what we do, what we say, and how we choose to react will be their guidelines, for life - what will be perceived as normal and acceptable."

So isn't the best lesson forgiveness and compassion and standing by your family till the end? Do we want them to believe that a mistake could cost them their family? That mom will leave them if they make a mistake?

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