Re: More unsolicited advice...

You can't be....

I used to think my ex was worth this fight, and I also could not see myself without him. I remember the day he stood in front of me and said he wanted a divorce. I was in total denial, and stayed living with him for 4 agonizing months after.

With that particular relationship, in hindsight, he did us both a huge favor. The relationship actually sucked, and I was too close to the woods to see the trees. But I had all the same feelings you are now.

Now, not that your relationship sucks like mine did.....I guess the point I'm trying to make is, it's been 25 years (I was about 10 years younger than you are now), and I am very happy. When I realized that it was not going to continue, I went into self preservation mode. All my survival instincts went into over drive. I took all the emotional energy I was throwing at him, and threw it at myself. And in time, I came to realize that I had spent years trying to hold onto this elusive man, and forgot about my very essence.

I'll never forget the day he wanted me back. I had just met the man who was to be my future husband. Even after all those years with him, I knew I didn't want to go back...I wanted to go forward. That was how strong and independent I became.

You've got that in you too. If you throw all that energy into keeping him, you will miss the most important part of the whole thing.

Let us know how it goes.

Molly Tweet