Is it wrong to be needy?

I am a young professional with a gret job that pays me well, and has afforded me the time to pursue my education as well. I just about everything that I could want. I have a large cirlce of friends that keeps me busy with gatherings and social activities. I also have a greet family that is supportive of me, even though they are many miles away and only get to see me once or twice a year. I also have a daughter, but am divorced. Origanly my daughter lived with her mother in another state, but she has since come to live with me. Her mother just wasn't ready to be a single mom... she liked the social life way too much, and let the care of our daughter take a back seat.
Since coming to live with me, I have not dated, but do still go out on occasion with married couple friends and their children. I also take time to myself to go to the gym and just hang out.
My problem is this...
My last relationship ended a few months before my daughter came to live with me. I haven't dated since... for a couple reason, my daughter not being the last, and I find myself still holding on to the last girl that I dated.
Part of the reason the relationship ended was because she thought I was controling and mildly abusive. I dont't like the sound of either of those words and would like to hear others opinions on it.
Her bases for saying that was that if we had made plans to talk or even if we hadn't and I would call her just to chat, and that she wasn't there, I would ask her about it. I was never accusatory, but I did ask her why she hadn't simply picked up the phone and told me that she was leaving before she left. I didn't care that she went uot. Everyone needs a little time away... not a big thing... but my issue was that she wouldn't make the time to give me a curtosy call. Is that contoling? As I see it, if you are in love with someone, and as we were talking about getting marriage, wouldn't you want them to know? Kind of a heads up... from that stemmed th controling comment and then it progressed into abusive because I would tell her my ideas of marriage... I don't know.. women confuse me. And I have come to realize that I suck at relationship that involve the heart. I want to be a good role model for my daughter. I would like to over come any thing that would give her the wrong ideas regarding relationships. I realize that I am fighting an up hill battle as a single father from a failed marriege, but I refuse to lay down and just accept things the way they are. Was I wrong to expect a "heads up" phone call? Is that controling? Even worse, is it abusive? Any ideas?