Hello..what you have been thru' is beyond belief ! The best thing you could do in this horrific situation, I feel, is just get away from the situation as soon as you can. You are obviously so much more mature and wise than either of your poor destitute, unfortunate parents. They have so much to answer for and this is very sad indeed. However, you on the other hand, can move on to having a beautiful life and I feel you will. You already are free in your mind, which is wonderful. There are many great books you can buy on Amazon.com that will help you. One I recommend is the 10 secrets to inner peace and happiness by Wayne W. Dyer. Have a beautiful life!!