I just turned 18..

Hello everyone,
I just turned 18 on Feb 28th. I am and have been abused by my parents since I was a child. I was also sexually abused by a friend of my father from ages 2-5. My father doesn't beat me anymore like he did a year ago. My mother on the other hand still abuses me.

My mother is like a flipped-side coin. She's either really sweet to me or she's just nasty. She'll hit me in the face if she "feels" she has to, or will grab me roughly. When she's not being sweet, she'll abuse me mentally and emotionally, calling me names and treating me like a piece of trash.

My father when he used to abuse me would hit me with his belt anywhere and he didn't know how to stop. I have some scars and circulation damage from that now. There's so much detail that it be too long to put in depth here.

When I was fourteen I tried to kill myself, I didn't have anyone to go to, just to talk to. I am depressed often, even though I try to find humor in things.

I have never understood how to deal with all of it, especially sworn to silence by my parents. And yet I love them both; how I do not know, but I do.

Thanks for those who read this message,
J. aka SeasonCharms