The mind is a powerful thing. "Whatsoever a man thinketh so is he". The 10 commandments are great and everything but as a Christian, I found my religion to be of no help whatsoever during my stinking journey. I feel to this day that God deserted me and the only one who heard me crying was me. If it weren't for my daily talks to myself, convincing "me" that I should live and not die, I wouldn't be here. Hopeless, keep searching for the answer because eventually you'll find it. I know I did and it was a tedious journey but I perservered and believed in me. I think we've all hit rock bottom on this forum and it's nowhere to go but up.