thx Bubba, thx Meeee. I know those emotional ups and downs should away from me. But I just can't. All the negative feeings just dun wanna leave me. I wanna control my temper but its hard. I dun understand why all people treat me that bad. If God really exists, this site should be close right away. If God really exists, those christians won't tease me and make fun of me. If God really exists, I won't be infected by a Christian (I'm sure nobody believe bb can be infected). I dun want to be an evil one day. I always want a peace life and world. But seems somethin driving me to the dark side. What can I do? Its getting hard for making a living even. Sigh