Re: Lori going deeper on thoughts

Dear Anthony,

You speak what I think!

It's funny how much I don't say, for sake of coming across as objective. I need to explore this censorship compulsion.

Anywayyyy..Great insight!!!

Yes, I totally agree. And it's great that your higher realm experiences confirm this! So it is true.

Would you like to hear my personal interpretations? If not, turn back now!!! :)
That which we resist will attract more of the same energy. I have gone through a lot of realizations within the last year and see how it affects us when we reject/resist any part of ourselves.

I have been seriously contemplating what I'm doing. Am I accepting myself when I wish something is different? Simultaneously, though, I observe my situation. I have recently begun to acknowledge all my states/beings/emotions. Right now I am primarily dealing with my over-critical, controlling ego. It just doesn't let up!

So, what I'm doing now is, as much as I'm conscious, remember who I am. Remember my essence. Remember that I don't have to be angry, defensive, etc. In that instant, however, I do acknowledge the feeling. But then try to get a different perspective.

I think this is what you're talking about. Choice. I realize how often times these emotions (anger, hurt, etc) are remnants from a past situation or apprehension because I'm doubting that a future event will happen as I wish. When I can stay in the moment, I remember who I am more easily.

I see it as our core nature is a spiritual one, in alignment with natural cycles and internal knowingness. The ego is a blanket covering that, for me anyway. My goal is to uncover it so that I can be my core nature more readily. My ego seems to be overbearing. It is a very strong voice.

Maybe it is that it has been silent for so long, or rather, I just didn't hear it so clearly. So I'm thinking it's OK to let it talk and feel heard. The problem becomes that I guess I still believe it.

So, is it that I'm in a state of criticism? So I shouldn't try to change it? But it just feels so weird. Like that's not the 'right thing' to do. I mean, who WANTS to feel this way? Like we're not good enough? No one wants to feel that way. But that's what I'm experiencing.

In the end, I try to trust my experiences. I know I am in the right place. I know a lot of this is my ego shadowing my perception, but man, it's cloudy! And when you are in a state like this that's prolonged, it's challenging. That's also what I meant when opportunities will present themselves perfectly: a way to try to say we are all in the right place. When it is time to tranform, it will happen.

A complicated subject I think, but please do share your thoughts - especially about the overbearing ego stuff. I think I went all over the place but you probably get my drift.

Love
Lori