Maybe most of the problem was a Lack of communication between us?
For you seem to be looking at just what the present condition is and ways to correct it, and not understanding the root cause and because of your learning from the past, just did not understand the reason of the problem to begin with!
Whereas I most of the time try to understand what the "ROOT" cause is, and if I am able to do this then this allows me to figure out how to solve the problem from the very base, instead of later on in the process!
At least now maybe we may understand each other better!