Re: drowning in ghastly food issues...need a friend.

Hey,
I used to think I might have an eating disorder, basically for a lot of the same reasons you said, but I have never purged, and the thought of irreversibly damaging my health scares the crap out of me. There was a period for about a year that I was eating 0 calorie, 0 fat, high Sugar junk, which is how I lost so much weight, and I did get really thin, but I've not gotten that thin since, and my problem more than anything seems to be mild binge eating (the all or nothing approach to it I guess!). I am 5'8" and got down to 117, but that's nothing compared to what I've read from other people on here. That's why I realize that I'm not, and have never been anorexic. I just have food issues. I use it for enjoyment rather than nourishment. That's what is wrong with me. And now I'm paying the price, with at least 35 excess pounds to lose by the beginning of November. These boards have been so much help for me though. I read a lot of other forums and check out some of the blogs & feel like I've got all the information for any possible direction I want to go, all at my fingertips. For the next 2 months I'll be severely restricting my calories & trying to exercise obsessively, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep up with the exercise. That's another reason why I know I can't be anorexic. Anorexics typically exercise til they literally drop. That's DEFINITELY not me!! Sometimes I wish I had the willpower to be anorexic, but I also know how stupid that is of me to think that. It's not a blessing for them, and reading some of the other posts on here, I can see how incredibly painful it must be to have such a dangerous compulsion. I'm lucky I didn't get worse.
As far as candida, I also used to think I had candida, because I would get recurrent infections that I thought were yeast, but OTC remedies & Antibiotics did no good, so I think I was just eating so badly that I had general, minor infections all the time. I mean, when you eat nothing but Sugar for a year, and treat your body like I treated mine (I won't even go into the other "substances" I put in my body!), you're bound to pay the price. But after I went raw for a while, all the issues with those recurrent infection-like symptoms went away. I'm not even remotely raw right now, but I am making better choices with what I do eat, so a lot of problems I've had are fixing themselves. I can't wait til I lose this weight, & then I can go back to eating, but this time around it will be all raw. Candida takes a very long time to cure yourself of, from what I've read, so that's why I think it wasn't candida that I had, though I do suspect that my boyfriend has it.
Anyway, sorry this is so long. I hope you keep posting about your progress. If you do, I will. I'm trying not to eat anything today. My stomach hurts anyway from all the coffee I'm drinking, so hopefully it won't be too hard. I'm thinking of starting The Master Cleanse on Thursday (the 1st of the month), so I'll let you know how it goes. Good luck to you!
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