I understand. Many people do not "feel" saved. That is why you must trust His promises. Maybe I will try and look up many or all His promises one day and post them. Maybe it will give you great comfort and strength for what you must go through or deal with either in finding healing or living with it. The main thing is to keep your faith and don't doubt. I pray that God will touch you in some way that your faith with be strengthened so you can endure to the end. God bless you.