Re: Preparing for my next (20-40 days) long water fast

Thanks for your caring words but I don't think I "woke up". I just see a chance to get out of this nightmare at some point.

On the outside of my hands the skin is only a bit dry and almost unnoticably loose. On the inside it is very dry, wrinkly and loose as if I were 100 years old.

Before Water Fasting I didn't know that a human being is capable of going without food for more than a few days. Most people don't even know about this as an option and the rest who know usually think negatively about it considering the information available online. There are a lot of sane positive studies about it that may or may not be valid but at the same time you can see a lot of controversal opinions on the two ends of the scale: people who religiously believe that Water Fasting cures and detoxifies everything and scientists, professionals on the other end who say it has huge potential to do permanent damage. Some people seem to build scam-like small businesses on top of the whole topic. The whole thing stinks in the form it is presented online so I'm not surprised that people avoid it.

Becoming wrecked taught me that we know almost nothing about the human body and nutrition and the body's own repair mechanisms are still much better than doctors. It would be still very hard to sell to most people that this repair mechanism is triggered by not eating for days or weeks. I tried fasting only as a last resort.

I'm surprised that people are shocked when it comes to the topic of suicide. If one's life reaches a point from where it unavoidably takes away more than it gives then why not make it shorter? My condition has turned the previous few years of my life into a nightmare. I don't anymore have social life, love life, and I had been very sick and tired for years before fasting. I'm not getting anything from life but I'm still heavily taxed just for pure existence. I have to work a lot. At work I'm expected to be happy. It isn't possible to do something like this forever. Even if I sort out my health problems I'll have a huge hole punched into my life and I'll never be the same. Being different (not gay :-D) makes the world around you very hostile and makes returning to the previous life difficult if not impossible. Besides this I've atrophied emotionally, a part of me became a machine full of emptiness and I see the dark side of people around me much more. I think suffering made me kinda deformed.